A Little Past 31...

Oh, my sweet Braddock...where do I even begin!  This child jumps into life head first, all with intense determination and a song in his heart.  He came to us in the middle of the night...no Brethine, Vistaril, or bed rest could hold him...he was ready to enter this world and enter it he did!  This really seems like it was not that long ago... 

 I remember how absolutely terrified we were.  I am such a planner, and this went nothing like we imagined.  Our nurses delivered him, revived him, and the amazing respiratory therapists from the NICU at WK-South came and took him soon thereafter.

 I don't think I could have ever understood the true love of a parent for their child until that moment.  I felt like my heart was leaving with him in that little incubator.  I knew when I was pregnant that our lives and priorities were forever changed, but not until those few terrifying yet beautifully unforgetable hours did the true weight and emotion settle in.

 Hard to believe how tiny he was...he literally fit in the palm of Michael's hand (something we may have to remind him of a few years down the road!! :)

Amazing how life changes in an instant, huh?  He seemed so tiny, so fragile*-more on this later*- (and although how easily I forget it now having had two in diapers for almost a year) but it took me a good solid week and a half before I mustered up the courage to change his diaper. Thank goodness we were still in the NI because the nurses were literally holding my hand through it, I was that afraid. 
It's hard to imagine that is the same child!  He is as strong as an ox, and has a will to match!  When he sets his mind to something, he will complete that task...maybe needing to "stop, take a deep breath, and think" a few times to prevent a frustration melt down, but dad-gommit he completes it...all the while singing his heart out.

 9 months old...

and almost 2 years later...

give or take "a violin, a trumpet, or "geetar"...

Braddock has the memory of an elephant.  He blew me away the other day as he was 'reading' to Abram "Snowy Day," "Goodnight Moon," and "Mike Mulligan" ver batem....and tonight I heard him trying to do "Fox in Socks!"...I'm not sure if it's because it's because of the musical aspect, but that child can have a song memorized and will be singing it back to you after hearing it only once or twice. He sits there and listens, almost zoning out, and then will stand up, start dancing around, and singing his heart out.  His current favorite (aside from his nursery rhymes, veggietales, and Dr. Jean) is Zac Brown...more specifically "Chicken Fried" (those men must have two year olds who eat like birds because this song has seriously encouraged Braddock to be a little bit less of a vegan!).  He sings, "You know I love my chicken fried!  Cold milk on a Friday night, a pair of jeans that fit JUUUUUST right, and the radio uuuuup, I like to see the sun rise.  See the love in my Mommy's eyes, feel the touch of a precious child, and know a mother's love..."

That brings me to another point....his sweet voice.  Well, more specifically, his accent.  He has this uncanny ability to turn single-syllable words into double or triples.  

Milk= Me-Yilk

Bread = Bray-yed

Bed=Bay=yed....etc.

 I know that Michael and I are both born and raised in the south, but I'm really not sure where he gets his intense drawl!

He also absolutely loves to be outside, and adores anything and everything about it.

swinging... (13 months, then 31 months)

and all things nature.  Lately he has been obsessed with leaves and acorns...

but is perfectly content walking around outside and singing, or playing his "geetar or violin" (he uses his T-ball T and baseball bat).
He also loves his animals, and cannot sleep without turtle, tiger, elephant, Fred, Fred's geetar, Poley, Corduroy, Baby Bear, Brown Bear, glow worm, Rattlin' Dog....and I feel like I'm still missing someone...Giraffe!...

 He also loves real life animals and has such compassion for them.  At the park the other day (collecting acorns), he was looking for squirrels because he just knew they needed a snack!  He also loves his Nestle dog, and has taken to snuggling and playing with him quite a bit, but they've been buddies for quite a while now...(3 months old)

Before he was born I remember praying for his heart...for him to have compassion, and empathy, and the desire to serve.  These past few weeks I have been absolutely blown away by the tenderness of his spirit.  He is developing such a thoughtful heart and he has a willingness to give.  He is quite the big brother...if he gets a toy for himself he usually remembers to bring one for Abram.  If Abram is upset Braddock will hug him, sing to him, or do something silly to make him laugh or distract him.  If he is about to leave a room he'll say, "come on Abram!  Let's go play in there!  You can do it!"...and encourages him along.

This compassion also has another element...sensitivity (this is where in some ways I still see glimpses of that fragile newborn).  His feelings (and possibly pride) can be easily injured...I remember one day a few weeks back he was playing his guitar, and we began to laugh because it was seriously adorable...and he took the laughter as though he was being made fun of, and he was crushed.  Suddenly these big ole'crocodile tears came streaming down his little face. It broke my heart, and took some major comforting and encouraging to draw him back out.  Also, as much of a performer as he is when he is in this comfort zone, when he steps outside of it he is intensely shy and equally tender.  To the observer he seems very serious and slow to warm up, and in this situation his smiles are few and far between (when outside this comfort zone).  In fact, it has just been over the past few weeks that he is getting to where he will run up excitedly to his Sunday school teachers, and we have been attending this church now for a little over a year.  He is hesitant in new situations, is intimidated at the thought of being left alone, and is not a fan of departing from his routine (heaven help him, I've ruined him for life)...unless it involves chocolate :).

But even in this I am seeing growth, and he continues to surprise me.  Yesterday he had his first 'big boy' hair cut.  We had been talking about it for several days, and even pretended to cut hair on some of his stuffed animals to show him it was "A-okay" and actually a super-fun, big boy thing to do! Knowing the sometimes tender nature of his personality I was secretly terrified we were going to go in and he would crumble...

 ...but he was charming

 ...a little bit scared...

 ...but more determined than afraid...

...and he made it...and was a CHAMP (and was so proud of himself)!

Funny how that same fragile determination that we saw some 31 months ago, although in different ways, still presents itself today.  Doodlebug, you are an absolute gift and a tremendous joy.  My boys (all four of them!) light up my world.